A couple of years ago, I stumbled upon a book entitled Naked: Black Women Bare All About Their Skin, Hair, Hips, Lips and Other Parts edited by Ayana Byrd and Akiba Solomon.  It consisted of a series of very personal essays by black women of all socio-economic walks of life and I was touched by each of them.  Their stories of struggle, pain and triumph were often bittersweet but most startling was their courageous, emotional honesty.  It exposed me to an unimaginable world of emotional fortitude that I had never considered.  I have felt the effects of that book daily as I watch the people around me walk through their lives and realized that for most, emotional honesty was a natural as breathing.  However, for me, emotions have always been the enemy.  Something to be tamed and controlled but never truly acknowledged.

So now, I find myself at the tender age of…uhm…let’s just say 40-something and struggling to master the skills of emotive integrity. Each day is filled with small victories and a few setbacks. But each day there is a private place in my soul where pride grows a little more at the subtle signs of my progress. I hope that if someone stumbles upon this blog and is struggling with their own challenges, this helps them feel a little less alone.

Feel free to share your thoughts and adventures with me and the rest of the group!


Candy  is a professional, 40-something woman living in NYC; learning to give up 98-hour work weeks and late night dinners in front of the computer, while trying to replace the dog with a man on the other side of the bed!


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